That's Life For You
by DALLYsaysSHUTtheHELLup
Summary: Life is hard. Being a girl is harder. Being the only girl growing up with a house full of boys is damn near impossible. Especially when you have the harsh reality of sex, love, and whatever else life is gonna decide to throw your way.


**Here it is. My rewrite of that's life for you. Hope you guys like it.  
Please, leave your thoughts. Please review. I really need to know what you guys think of it.  
I will be forever grateful. **

**As always thanks to my beta _Independence Undervalued._  
**

**__AND YES THIS IS A SISTERFIC SO IF YOU DON'T LIKE THEM DON'T READ ANY FURTHER THEN THIS. I want to be judged on my writing skills not what I choose to write about.**

**It's just plain rude when people decide to bash something because they just don't like the subject or topic and to all of you who do that and you know who you are GROW UP! Learn how to actually be mature and review a story that you want to see get better and not just bash it for the hell of it.**

**Annnd I don't own the Outsiders. Just btw.  
**

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I stood on the other side of the door trying to work up the courage to actually go in. Once I walked through that door I knew everything would change. _I_ would change. My hands were starting to get tingly, something they always did when I was nervous. Drawing in a deep breath, I rested my hand on the doorknob, surprised on how cool the handle felt underneath my palm. Or maybe my hands were just unnaturally warm. I couldn't tell. After tonight nothing would be the same. I would be changed, but it's something that had to happen sometime, right? Why not tonight?

Throwing caution to the wind, I gave the knob a quick twist while pushing the door open slowly. "Tim?" I whispered out, taking a step into the room. Sliding my hand across the wall I searched for the light switch, flicking it on when I found it.

"Damn it, Tim," I muttered, finding the room empty. I knew this would happen. I sneak out of the house, risk getting caught by Darry and grounded until I'm his age, and Tim can't even be home. At least no one else was here either. I don't even know why I bothered coming. How did I let Tim convince me to come see him tonight?It's not like it was the first time I let him convinced me to do something like this either. But I _did_ know. It was because of the way he made me feel. The way he could make me feel wanted and special even though I knew I wasn't the only girl he was seeing. In the short time I've been seeing him he could already get me to do whatever he wanted. I was putty in his hands and I couldn't bring myself to care. He singled me out for tonight and other nights. That must count for something, right? He liked me. He _must_. I'm not stupid enough to think he loves me, but maybe in time he could. Who was I kidding though? I wasn't good enough to be Tim's girl and should be happy with the attention he did give me. It wasn't enough though and I wasn't enough.

Making my way over to his bed, I lay back on it, kicking off my shoes and curling up on my side, started to feel irritated towards him. I shouldn't be here. Darry would blow a fuse if he ever found out, not to mention the major guilt trip he would put me on. I shouldn't be here. If Darry finds out I wasn't in my room it would just add to all the stress he was under already. But on the other hand he probably wouldn't even notice. He hasn't noticed all the other times so I doubt tonight would be any different. He's been so caught up with work and keeping our heads above water he hasn't noticed much of anything lately, especially all the sneaking around I've been doing with Tim. Maybe he never would. Unless Tim started bragging about it, which I prayed to God he would never do that.

I must have fallen asleep thinking about all that, because the next thing I knew I was being shaken awake. "Stop," I grumbled, rolling over on my other side, just wanting to sleep. A gruff voice in my ear reminded me where I was though and instantly my eyes snapped open, causing me to blink rapidly from the bright light.

"Cassie, wake up."

"Tim?" I asked groggily starting to sit up, just to be pushed back down. "Where were you?" I questioned rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

"Don't worry about it," he replied, the bed shifting down as he joined me on it.

"I can't stay much longer." I stifled a yawn, wondering what time it was.

"You can stay as long as I want you to stay." I felt his warm breath on my neck as he said this sending a shiver run down my spine. I moved my face towards his and soon felt his hot breath on my mouth, I immediately parted my lips for him, desperate for his taste, his touch.

I shifted under his weight, moving my hands around his neck, tangling my tongue with his. His hands started to move over my body, groping here and there a little too roughly for it to feel good. I knew that it was gonna happen tonight. I was about to lose my virginity to Tim Shepard. There was no way I could put it off any longer and even if I tried, I would be nothing but a tease and he would really want nothing to do with me. It would be worth it though, I told myself. It had to be. He would finally realize that he would want only me and everything would finally be perfect.

I shivered again as I felt his hand creeping under my skirt, moving further up, his rough fingers gliding over my thigh making me nervous. My breathing was starting to hitch and I wanted to tell him to stop, that I wasn't ready, but instead I just pulled him closer, lifting my hips so he could get my underwear off. I closed my eyes as he started to unbutton the buttons on my blouse, blushing fiercely can't believing I went with the no bra idea. I opened my eyes and could tell he was pleased with the decision. I closed my eyes again and when I reopened them, his shirt was off and his pants were unbuttoned this was really about to happen. It was to late too stop it. I drew in a deep breath and heard the tearing of foil.

I tried to blink back the tears that were threatening to spill over at any second. I wasn't suppose to feel this way. This was suppose to bring us closer, like he said it would. I never felt further apart then anyone though in all my life. All the things he whispered in my ear during the act, things I've been waiting years to hear from a guy, meant nothing now. It didn't make the ache in my throat go away. I watched in confusion as he got out of bed and started to pull on his clothes.

"Where are you going?" I managed to get out, trying to cover myself with the blanket.

"I have things to do." Was his nonchalant reply.

I stared at him in disbelief. "You're just gonna leave? Just like that?" This wasn't how it was suppose to be. The after was at least suppose to be good. Where he would hold me and we would spend the night talking and cuddling and just being near each other.

"I have business to take care of so you should probably head on home."

I bit down hard on my bottom lip trying to keep it from trembling. How could I have been so stupid? To think that he actually cared about me, even a little bit. I felt so ridiculous. This was Tim Shepard and I actually was naive enough to convince myself that he gave a rip about me. He didn't.

"I should get home." I repeated slowly, trying to make it sound like it was my idea. I pulled on my clothes as quickly as I could, feeling vulnerable and exposed and more ashamed than I ever felt in my life.

"You know, Cassie," I heard him say as I headed towards the door. "I don't think this thing is gonna work out between us." I kept my back towards him not being able to face him.

I used the last of my composure and asked, "Why's that?" Doing a pretty good job of hiding my pain.

"Your brothers wouldn't like it too much." I snorted at that like he would care what anyone thought. "Plus," He went on. "You were easy and a pretty bad lay." I could hear the cruelty in his voice.

"And you're an asshole." I managed to choke out before rushing out the door and stumbling down the stairs sprinting into the cool night air. I felt the wind sting my face, from the tears that were now sliding freely down my cheeks. I ran down the street, until I felt my chest start to burn and collapsed down to my knees, feeling the sobs rack my body. I never hated myself more then I did at that moment. I buried my face in my hands and let myself cry for everything I just lost. I was grateful that it was late and no one was around to see me fall apart like this.

I wanted for so long to be known for someone other than just my last name. But what was I gonna be known for now? Tim's whore? I sure as hell wasn't my own person and being with Tim made me even less of one. I was now officially like every other girl on this side of town. I had nothing anymore that separated me from them.

I stood up when I felt I was all cried out. I was tired, cold, and just plain miserable. I figured I better get home before it got any later. I hated myself more and more with each step I took. What were my brothers gonna think of me when they found out? Oh god. How could I not think this through? I bet Darry would hand deliver me to a orphanage . Not that I would blame him. In his eyes Tim was nothing but a no good hood, which was basically the truth and I knew that. I knew that and still didn't stay away from him.

I wrapped my arms tightly around myself praying that no one would bother me. I doubt the best people were out at this time of night. I wish I was at home safe in bed. I wish I never fell for Tim. I wish my parents were still alive. I wish a lot of things that will never be. But most of the time that's all I have. My wishes.

I felt my body tense up when I heard footsteps behind me. For a split second I thought maybe it was Tim coming to apologize, but knew that was very unlikely. I nibbled on my lower lip as I picked up my pace. No one is following you, I told myself, but turned down another street anyway, I still heard the footsteps. I had to look over my shoulder just to make sure I wasn't making up something in my mind. I took off in a run as my fear was confirmed and there was a figure not to far behind me. The stranger was obviously quicker though and it wasn't long before he over took me. "Let me go," I yelled out as I struggled against his strong hold around my waist.

I pushed against his chest, and felt my feet lift off of the ground for a split second. "Cassie, calm the hell down would ya?" I instantly relaxed as I recognized the voice and was released.

"What the hell, Curly?" I snapped at the miniature Tim. "Why were you chasing me."

"I thought you knew it was me."

"Then why would I keep running?" I demanded, feeling slightly annoyed with him.

"Cause you knew it was me."

I turned my head trying my hardest to fight a smile at that. "Well, what did you want?" I questioned, suddenly suspicious. Did what I did with Tim, spread that fast? Curly couldn't be that dumb, could he be?

"Wanted to see if you had a buck I could borrow."

I stared at him in disbelief. I would have been less shocked if he would have asked to screw me against the ally wall. "You have got to be kidding me." I said with a shake of my head and started to walk away.

Curly fell into step beside me. "Is that a no?"

I didn't bother answering and just kept walking.

"You heading home?" I heard him ask.

I nodded in response.

"I'll walk with you," he offered, which kind of surprised me.

"Why?" I finally asked. Curly wasn't exactly the gentlemen type and he wasn't as smooth with the ladies as his brother.

"Headin' that way anyhow, but hey you wanna walk home by yourself, maybe get mugged that's fine by me."

I casted a sideways glance towards him. "Thank you," I said slowly, my way accepting his offer.

"Don't mention it," he muttered fumbling with a cigarette. "Want a puff?"

I declined and we walked in silence for a little while. "What are you doing out so late?" I asked breaking the silence.

"I have some shit to take care of."

"This late?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "It's early for some of us."

"Oh." Was my brilliant response.

"You were at my house, huh?" He blew smoke out of the side of his mouth.

"Yeah," I said quietly.

"Have a good time?" His tone was sarcastic and it just made me want to start crying again.

"A blast," I replied crossing my arms over my chest.

"You shouldn't take it personal, y'know? It's just Tim. It's who he is."

I was at a lost of words not sure if he was defending his brother or trying to make me feel better or maybe a little of both. Either way I didn't wanna talk about this until I was in private so I could cry alone. His brother knew he broke my heart I didn't need him knowing it too.

We started to walk in silence again, but it was kind of a comfortable silence. I always thought of Curly of just a younger version of Tim, but maybe I was wrong. He seemed different. Then again Tim seemed different too so it could be an act.

"Thanks for walking me home," I said again as soon as we reached the chain linked fence that surrendered my house. "It was decent of you."

I stared at his face for the first time, the porch light illuminating it, noticing that he had blue eyes.

"Who said I did it for you? Maybe I just wanted the losers who are out this time of night to see me walking with a good looking chick."

I giggled not being able to take insult from that. "Doesn't that make you a loser for being out at this time?"

"I guess that would make you one too."

"You're such a jerk." I couldn't help but smile so I doubted it had any affect.

"I'm the jerk who walked you home. You're pretty ungrateful, Curtis."

"But you did it to benefit yourself." I reminded him with a grin.

He chuckled before turning to walk away. "Better get inside big brothers are always watching, I would know."

I watched him until I couldn't see him anymore, more surprised then anything that it was Curly Shepard of all people that actually made this night a little better.

I sighed as I turned and walked up to the front door, walking inside slowly. All was quiet. I guess no one even noticed that I wasn't home. I wasn't sure if that should make me happy or not.

I decided to head straight to my room, even though I would have rather taken a nice hot bath, but I didn't want to risk the running water waking anyone up. As I was walking past the couch a voice caught me off guard, causing me to jump. "Where've you been, sweetheart."

I glared at Steve. "Hello to you too Stevie. Why you sleeping here tonight? The dumpster behind the dairy queen occupied?"

"Yup. I gave the guy sleeping in it your number, thought he would be a real good match for ya."

"Wow. It amazes me that your dad can't stand you." I pursed my lips realizing that was probably pushing it to far."

Steve's natural scowl deepened. "Be a real shame if 'ol Darry woke up just to find out you've been out this entire time, wouldn't it be?" He sneered out.

"Don't tell him," I begged. I hated that I had to resort to begging Steve for anything, but what choice did I really have?

"Just shut the hell up so I can get some sleep."

I bit my tongue so I didn't say anything back and quickly made my way to my room. Steve never liked me and liked Ponyboy even less. It was weird. Almost like he was jealous of us or something.

I quickly changed for bed and slipped under the covers. The last thing I saw before falling asleep was the face of Curly Shepard.

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